Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
