note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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