It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
