So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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