Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
