he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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