How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Farmville is her only friend.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
