You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
