The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
