Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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