Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize