Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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