the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
