I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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