that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
