I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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