Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
