I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
