some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
