The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
