you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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