my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
