Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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