Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
