I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
third nipple confirmed
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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