imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
