i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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