i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
