So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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