Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
