i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
