I want to have your abortion
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize