I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
