so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
