he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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