we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The beer is more important than you right now.
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Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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