He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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