At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
