Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
