he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
