sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
