love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
