He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
