i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
