dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
