he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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