I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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