I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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