Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
