Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
