I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
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explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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