We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
bring money and cleavage
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
