You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
