Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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