remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
