She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
