dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
