He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
